Microsoft Excel in Marketing. Really?

Trust me when I say that I became interested in art, design, and now marketing because of my dislike of math. I came to this conclusion mid-way through my high school career as I examined which classes I liked best. At the time I was experimenting with the first Macs in art class, and spending the rest of my day trying to figure out what the hell an imaginary number was in AP Calculus. When it came time for college, the decision was easy. Head off to design school to “be creative” and leave all of that math stuff behind.

So, imagine my surprise 15 years later when I’m operating an application that I NEVER thought I would have to even look at; Microsoft Excel. I use Excel more right now than I use Photoshop. A tiny little piece of me dies inside when I click that little green X icon in my task tray. The first time I opened a brand new sheet, with its unending grid and unfamiliar map coordinates, was more intimidating than any blank canvas I’ve ever encountered.

Here’s the news to any interactive marketer worth their salt. Excel is one of the most powerful weapons in your arsenal. Heresy? Perhaps. Unfortunate Reality? Absolutely. Here’s why.

1. ROI=Longevity. The biggest opportunity interactive marketing offers is the ability to track Return on Investment. To measure that, you need a calculator not a paint brush. Have you ever tried to calculate the conversion ratio of traffic to leads using Photoshop?
2. Dirty, Filthy, Data. At some point the interactive marketer will be handed some list of names scraped from the internet, or scanned from some association flyer or whatever and be asked to run an email campaign to those people. Without Excel skillz, that is like having someone leave a flaming turd on your doorstep. Grind it through Excel correctly and run a few formulas…shabam! pristine data lined up in pretty little columns that can be sucked into an email marketing tool.
3. I want it cut in triangles not squares. Kids always want their sandwich cut a different way than you were planning on. Business leaders always want their marketing analytics sliced a different way or diced down to just their little corner of the world. Give me the raw data, and that magical Pivot table (which this rookie Excel user took forever to grasp) and voila, the big kids are VERY happy.

While I believe Excel is important, I also have learned everything I know by reading the help or asking a colleague. Going to get formal training is as pleasant as going to the dentist. I received some mail the other day on some cheapo Excel training classes that I might break down and sit through. I could even buy a book that sounds like it’s targeted right at me: Excel for Marketing Managers. Alas, I think I’ll probably spend my time learning to make a spreadsheet crossbow as in the video below.

Tip o the hat to Codswallop